A Consultation and the CutI Needed for the Hair I Want

A couple of Saturdays ago, I travelled by train into Liverpool city centre with my sister. She had kindly offered to come with me for a hair consultation and re-style appointment she had booked for me with a stylist called Chris at Metamorph Haus.

Chris

My sister had reached out to Chris and, I believe, shared with him some of my struggles with gender dysphoria. She explained that I’d been wanting to grow my hair long but felt I needed the guidance of a stylist who could truly understand me. I was searching for someone who could not only help me navigate this hair journey, but also offer insight into the style I envisioned, someone who could help me move closer to the look I’ve been dreaming of. 

I don’t know exactly what she wrote in her message to him, but I do know that Chris had seen it and wanted to reply straight away, as it was such a heartfelt note.

I was incredibly grateful to my sister for arranging it all, and I was really looking forward to the consultation. I was especially keen to explain that I’m trying to grow my hair into what I call a “deliberately feminine” style. By that, I simply mean I want it to look feminine, even while presenting as male.

My appointment wasn’t until 11am, and arriving in the city centre just after 10am meant we had time to grab a coffee from McDonald’s near Central Station before walking down to the salon on Argyle Street in L1.

The salon doesn’t give too much away from the outside, it’s a repurposed industrial building, a historic former brass mill that predates the Second World War and still retains many of its original architectural features.

Stepping inside feels like entering a “cave of wonders.” The design embraces the building’s history, with sandblasted red brick walls and soaring ceilings that showcase its industrial character. The standout feature is a series of original brick arches, cleverly transformed into intimate, private coves. By day, these arches house sleek hair stations and treatment areas; in the co-working space, they become cosy “chill pods” fitted with plush bean bags and smart tech.

The overall palette balances the warmth of the weathered brick with minimalist, modern furnishings and soft, atmospheric lighting, creating a “no-label” sanctuary that feels both raw and refined.

 

Upon our arrival, we were greeted at the reception desk and explained that we were a little early, asking if it was okay to take a seat in the waiting area and finish our coffees. We were made to feel very welcome straight away and were even offered hot drinks, which was a lovely touch.

 

The atmosphere felt noticeably different from some of the other salons I’ve visited in the past. It was much more relaxed and inviting, with a cosy, calm feel throughout. The space felt unhurried, and the staff came across as genuinely friendly and attentive without being overbearing. There was a real sense of ease about the place, nothing felt rushed or clinical, and that immediately put me at comfort. It had a warm, welcoming energy that made it easy to settle in and feel completely at home.

While I sat waiting, a moment of doubt crept in and I found myself asking, What am I doing? Not about being there in the salon, but about growing my hair long. This internal conflict, one that surfaces often, strikes hardest when I catch my reflection and don’t like what I see. My hair still isn’t anywhere near the way I truly want it; it looks unkempt, a stark contrast to the short back-and-sides I’d worn for so many years. A small part of me longed to return to that clean, polished style, yet an overwhelming drive pushed me to persevere, to keep growing it out.

It wasn’t long before Chris was ready for me. He invited me to sit in one of the chairs facing a wall of mirrors. Our conversation began simply, with him asking what he could do for me and whether I had any particular styles in mind. I pulled out my phone, opened my hairstyle gallery, and showed him four images. 

The first was of Romanian model Andreea Diaconu, her hairstyle is the one I love most and long for deeply. 

The next image was of of me, AI-modified to reflect a similar style inspired by the model's:

 

  

 The third image was an AI generated image based on the second:

 

 

The final image is another AI generated image with another similar hairstyle:

My main question was whether any of those looks were actually achievable. Chris reassured me they all were. He commented that I had a great head of thick hair and even mentioned that my natural grey colour was something many women pay good money to achieve. Hearing that was unexpectedly affirming.

After discussing styles, I was taken to another part of the salon to have my hair washed. Chris explained that they would begin with a clarifying shampoo to break down and remove any product build-up. It was a surprisingly soothing experience, one of the assistants gently massaged the shampoo into my scalp before rinsing it away. 

Once my hair was washed, Chris suggested we move downstairs to the basement. It was a quieter, more private space, which made it easier for me to speak openly with him. I immediately liked it down there, it felt cosy and tranquil, and the added privacy helped me relax and open up more freely.

 

Before arriving, I already knew that the long, fluffy hair growing at the nape of my neck needed attention. It had started to resemble an untidy mullet, while it was getting longer, it was still far from the feminine look I wanted. Chris explained that it would need to be cut back to allow the top layers to blend more naturally as they grew out.

This, he said, would create a stronger foundation for a smoother, more feminine silhouette over time. He carefully trimmed and feathered the lower section, removing the bulk that had been making it appear puffy. As for the top and sides, I don’t recall him making any major changes, just some light feathering to help everything blend more seamlessly.

One thing he noticed straight away was that I’d been shaving my sideburns, and he advised me to stop. He could tell I’d been taking them higher each time as well, and suggested that I either leave them alone entirely or, if I did want to tidy them up, keep them within a natural guideline, roughly an imaginary line drawn from the eye to the ear, and not shave anything above that point. He explained that by shaving them, I was actually undoing the foundation needed to grow my hair into a softer, more cohesive shape. 

To complete the look, he reached for a small, bulbous purple bottle with a yellow dispenser. He explained that it was a great product for taming my hair while adding volume, without leaving it feeling heavy or overloaded. He recommended using two or three small pumps, applied to slightly damp hair. From there, I could either let it dry naturally or use a blow dryer, depending on the finish I wanted.

It didn’t take long before Chris was finished, and I was on my way. As I took one last glance in the mirror before leaving, my hair didn’t look drastically different from when I first walked in, but the puffiness at the nape of my neck had disappeared, and the back was much tidier.

Chris recommended that I come back in two or three months for another trim, just to keep it looking fresh.

 

Overall, I was really pleased with how the consultation had gone. I felt reassured that the hairstyle I want is definitely achievable, but it will take time and perseverance. The trimming, especially of the puffy nape section that had developed into something of a messy mullet, was an essential part of the process. It was necessary to allow the top sections of my hair to catch up and grow in more evenly. While it might not look drastically different right now, I know that this step will help create a more balanced, feminine shape in the long run. It felt like a small but important step toward the style I’m aiming for, and I left feeling optimistic about the journey ahead.

Part of me still questions my decision to grow my hair out, especially at 52. At times I wonder whether, in my twenties, the style I’m aiming for now might have suited me more naturally, with a more youthful look. There are also moments of self-doubt, where I worry about how it might be perceived, whether it comes across less as intentional and more as simply unruly or unkempt at this stage of life.

And yet there’s a strong pull that keeps me going, a quieter but persistent sense of alignment with a more feminine version of myself that I’ve never fully expressed before. That feeling is what stops me from reaching for the scissors. Even when I look in the mirror and it feels a long way from the image I have in my mind, there’s something about the process that still feels right. It’s not just about how it looks right now, but about moving towards something that feels more authentic over time.

Thanks for reading

 

Lotte x