Hoping for the Best, Preparing for the Worst

They say there's a first time for everything and they're right.  Very soon I will be going for my first ever makeover and photo-shoot.  I have booked an appointment at Femme Side Studio in Syston in Leicestershire.

I'm nervously excited about the occasion but worried at the same time.  I am worried about being hugely disappointed by how it will turn out. In my head I think about having a makeover all the time.  I have visions of myself all glammed up in makeup looking totally feminine, but the truth is I'll probably never achieve what i see in my visions.

I'd considered going for a makeover a few times when I first came out to my Wife.  I looked around and found a few possible places that offered a makeover and photoshoot package, but I was always put off by either the price or the distance I'd have to travel for it.

It was only recently after something happened at home that I decided to finally commit to booking myself in for a makeover and photoshoot.

What happened I hear you ask.

 

Well just over a month ago my wife and daughter had booked themselves a weekend Spa Break at a not too far away hotel.  Knowing I'd have the weekend to myself I promised myself some Lotte time and so made preparations for that weekend.  

 

First off I decided to buy a couple of wigs from Amazon and so I spent a few nights carefully picking some that I thought would possibly look okay on me and wouldn't break the bank.  I opted for three in the end, all of them synthetic and neck length..

 

Next I ordered some makeup from Boots which included foundation, primer, lipstick, eyeshadow, blusher, mascara, eyeliner and some eyebrow pencils.

 

Lastly, I purchased myself a few items of clothing, a black bodysuit with a sweetheart style bust and lace patchwork detail, a satin pyjama set comprising of a camisole top and shorts, and a red satin nightie.

 

The Amazon Bodysuit I purchased

With everything now in place, I waited eagerly for the following Friday when that evening I would have the house to myself all weekend for the first time in ages.

 

Friday came, and that evening I remember it being extremely warm to the point that just I was sweating just sitting on the couch watching television.

 

I'd been tidying around the house most of the day and was already feeling hot, sweaty and tired so I took myself off upstairs for shower.

 

After a shower I laid out some clothes that I planned to wear for the evening.  Nothing too special just the black bodysuit I'd bought off Amazon, a black pencil skirt, some nude coloured tights and a pair of black patent heels.

The look I had planned for that evening

Stripped down to just my underpants my plan was to get glammed up with makeup before getting dressed but the temperature in the house was still extremely warm and I could feel sweat starting to run down my forehead.  I tried going downstairs to see if it was cooler in the living room but it was no good, I couldn't escape the heat anywhere.  I guess that's the downside to living in a house that is freezing in the winter and boiling hot in the summer!

 

There was no way in the world that I was ever going to get any makeup applied that night, not unless I wanted it ruined by the streams of sweat that were pouring down my face.

 

Then I made a fatal mistake, I reached for one of the new wigs I'd purchased from Amazon and placed it onto my head.  I guess I should have known better than buying something as important as a wig from Amazon.  Not because all Amazon stuff is rubbish but due to the fact that wig was cheap and therefore was never going to be anything amazing.

 

As I fought with the wig in a desperate bid to make it look it presentable, the more I saw myself in the mirror the more I began to feel down.  Instead of seeing the vision I have of my feminine self I just saw a sad grotesque middle aged man looking back at me and reality hit me hard that I'm never going to achieve the vision I have.  I battled with the wig for what seemed like an eternity and eventually I threw the towel in. I just couldn't get it to look the way I wanted it to.

 

Seeing myself as just a man in a dress

I grabbed the next one and that was no better. Again and again I tried repositioning the wig on my head, but no matter what I seemed to do it just looked a mess and now feeling rather dejected I called it quits and decided instead to have an early night.

Do you want to know what the worst thing is about this wig caper? 

I already have a decent wig that I paid a lot of money for. I'd bought it from a wig shop in Southport and the nice lady shop owner 'Jenny' who has since passed away cut and styled it for me.  I've never worn it since and its is currently at the back of my wardrobe somewhere in a box nice and safe! 

The only positive thing about the whole evening was that with the bed all to myself I could finally experience sleeping in a soft satin nightie, something that I'd been longing to do for a long while.

  

 

So with a blast of Jimmy Choo's Blossom Perfume on my neck and wrists I climbed into bed and settled down for the evening.  

 

The following evening it was still too warm for makeup, wigs and dressing so once again I settled for an early night but tonight I got to wear my new black satin pyjamas.

 

Being able to sleep in women's nightwear is something that I hope I will be able to repeat again soon. The feeling of soft satin against your skin and the smell of your favourite perfume as you doze off is so satisfying. It most definitely helps when the pink fog is thick I can tell you!

 

The weekend had turned out disastrous on the dressing front, and that’s when I realised that I urgently needed to get myself booked in somewhere for a makeover. 

 

I looked around and did my homework and eventually found a dressing service that I was happy to chance. After some emailing back and forth, I committed myself to a date and paid my deposit.

Shortly afterwards, whilst out with my sister, I mentioned to her about my disastrous weekend and I told her that I'd booked myself in for a makeover. I explained to her that I'd be going on my own as I couldn't ask my wife because whilst she is quite supportive, she said wouldn't be able to cope with seeing me dressed as she thinks it would mess with her head. Then, before I knew it my sister had volunteered to come along with me, provide some morale support and to keep me company on the 240 mile round trip to the makeover studio.

Fast forward to early last week...

As my appointment date neared I made contact again to check that everything was okay for the agreed date and I asked what I needed to bring.

"Just yourself, some nylons and a pair of knickers" was the reply.

Now despite having have lots and I mean lots of heels, dresses, tops, skirts, leggings, and hosiery, knickers are the one thing that I don't actually have apart from one pair of shapewear briefs. Therefore I was going to have to buy some prior to the grand day.

All that was left to do was actually tell my wife as I wasn't going to keep this secret from her.. I prepared the ground on Friday just gone by mentioning to her that I'd booked a day off work one day next week as I was going out with my sister for the day. She asked where we were going but I dodged the question as I had to rush out for work.

On Saturday afternoon whilst my wife and I were in our back garden doing some gardening I told her why I'd really booked the day off and where me and my sister were really going.

She took my news well, obviously there were many questions but I told her about my disastrous weekend and how a makeover and photoshoot was something that I really needed right now. I explained to her that time was running out for me and that it was now or never. I didn't want to regret not doing it. She said she understood where I was coming from.

I told her about what the makeover and photoshoot involved and I mentioned that they provide everything and I just need to turn up with nylons and knickers. I joked to her about not having any knickers as I'm not really one for knickers and straight away she said "Don't worry, we'll get some on Sunday after our morning walk."

Wow, I definitely wasn't expecting that!

Yesterday, whilst out for our Sunday morning walk, we talked more about the upcoming appointment and in particular expectations. She told me not to get disheartened if reality didn't meet my expectations and not to let it mess with my head.

And so, after our walk, whilst shopping together for supplies for the upcoming week, for the first time ever my Wife bought me Knickers. Nothing fancy, just some everyday supermarket brand high leg style but nevertheless actual knickers. The fact that she'd gone out of her way to get them for me too, meant so much.

 

I'm not even sure whether they'll actually hold all my bits in, I'll have to check before the day. However, I'm still pinching myself, to check it wasn't all a dream.

By the end of next week I will have had my first makeover and photoshoot session and I will either be elated or disappointed. I'm hoping it'll be the former and not the latter.

 

Fingers crossed hey.

 

Thanks for reading 

 

Lotte x